then i realize that the path they share has never been my own. and i get scared.

i keep writing words and deleting them. like my mind is not very impressed with anything I have to say. perhaps that is why I haven't written in so long. i am highly annoyed. with myself. with noise. with heat. i just want quiet. and maybe someone nice to chat with. i feel like im continuing to lose a grasp on who I am. im falling into bad habits and a discontent state of mind now and again....and its driving me crazy. i feel like im losing a connectedness with my close friends. perhaps its because they are mainly guys. and i am a girl. with very few friends that are girls. complain complain. ashley is bad at making and keeping friends. the end.

running nowhere. fast. im in a destructive mood. hopefully it will lean towards creative destructiveness. that would nice.