eyes

i feel sick. just ate some cakey baked thing from sweetpea and a coffee. i need to stop. especially the coffee business. way too expensive. since its saturday. end of the week. i guess i will make it a goal starting tomorrow. i also want to start biking more. driving less. as soon as i can get a discounted tri-met pass from PSU, im definitely using the public transit for all of my commuting. hhmhmhm

biked around today. i dont know why i had such a hesitation before. it feels really good. im way out of shape. but hopefully it will get better. i feel oddly more comfortable biking at night rather than the day. less people on the roads or something...i dunno.

abandon hope all who enter here.

i would be pleasantly surprised if you are reading this. actually i wouldn't be surprised at all. i think you play the dumb card when it comes to internet lurking. because i know i do. i feel we are one in the same sometimes. except you are much more mysterious leaving no trace or clue. i like to leave little hints for the people who are smart enough to look. such as yourself. thinking of you. i hope thats not creepy. i guess ive come to the conclusion that as much as i admire you. perhaps that is all it will ever be. an infatuation with what could be "us". a craving of your hand in mine that will never be fulfilled. its ok. i think i have come to terms and will live with your eyes just behind my eyelids.