080808

im lost somewhere in between the need to be strong and the overwhelming haunt of emptiness. loneliness. there are people crawling everywhere. and yet. im moving in slow motion in a desolate field of dead urban dandelions. trampled by the steady stride of hollowed eyed gaping mouthed faces. these translucent beings are not here. in my decaying paradise. silent. brainwashed. the ghosts pretend not to see me. straight gazed. hard face. i am no one worth while. and they continue on their way. i continue to be intoxicated by the allure of the city. the beauty of people. the little joys that seep out of the most unlikely places...i have made it my daily goal to purposely trip in these holes. all i want is to drown in a puddle of honesty. a river of realization. of what this world has in store for me. and i fiercely shake my head and curse my eyes. fuck everything and everyone that i have fallen in love with. i had my world. and i miss it.